Experiment Eight.

Elenoir and I sat silently at the kitchen table, heads tipped towards our dinner plates as we quietly adorned our entrails with the cuisine we had deemed eligible to be allowed safe passage down our throats. Only the occasional clink of silverware or muffled sneeze made a mockery of our silence and it stayed that way well through our meal.

We enjoyed an eloquent three course meal including a delightfully crisp salad adorned with a kaleidoscope of intriguing vegetables including fresh cut tomatoes, celery, radish and peppers. A glorious cool ranch dressing was atop the crisp lettuce with an added bonus of grilled strips of chicken and raisins.

It was followed with a tender slow roasted brisket topped with a decadently sweet brown sauce sided with freshly crushed homemade mashed potatoes bathed in the same brown sauce with a second side consisting of steamed green beans which had been peppered and salted to a gentle perfection.

Lastly we were entertained to a delicious chocolate cake which had been painted with an equally chocolaty frosting that was speckled with a mass amount of ground cookie pieces which accentuated the cake nicely, and the two of us enjoyed the course above all others.

And as we were basking in the quiet of those last few moments of supper before we had to return to whatever the hell we were doing beforehand, Elenoir took a quiet sip from her water glass, taking care to set it down gently. “You’re stupid.”

I’m kicking back my chair and standing to my feet, thrusting a pointing finger in her face with anger pouring out every orifice. “And you are a demon!” I scream at her through ragged lips and she just looks at me with a casual air. “I was only pointing out the obvious.” She replies with a shrug and I feel my finger peel into a fist.

“Well child you are sorely mistaken, I am not the one who is stupid. You are.” I hiss and her eyes widen in shock. “I’M stupid?” She growls and I place my hands triumphantly upon my waist. “Of course you are. Hence why I’m the adult here and you’re the bratty little child.” Before I had even finished my sentence a small pang emanates from my shoulder and I glance over to see a fork sticking out of my shoulder.

As the pain was struggling to register in my brain I look back at Elenoir to see her glaring at me with an anger unlike anything I have ever seen upon the face of a child before, with eating utensils held fast in her tiny fisted paws as she readied the aim of her meat knife.

At that moment I realized it would be a brilliant idea to duck and as I did I heard the sick thud of the knife impact upon the wall behind me. “You’re barely five years older than me you idiot!” She shouts and tosses a spoon across the table. “Not my fault I was the result of your grandmother’s mid-life crisis!” I retort as the little maggot child resorted to throwing her dishes.

“If you do not calm down this instant I will fucking stab you!” I shout at her as I rip the fork out from my shoulder with a small spurt of scarlet. “Make me!” She screams angrily and I grip the edge of the table. “You asked for it!” I growl and with all my strength I flip the table with her still on it, or at least that’s what I tried to do, but in reality my puny musculature contrasted with the solid oak table and as I threw all my strength into flipping the table, all I succeeded in doing was popping my shoulders out of their sockets.

My eyes immediately filled with tears and my fingers slipped free from its grasp and I’m thrown back, stumbling backwards into the wall right as Elenoir launched her chair at my face. The last thing I uttered was an exasperated “ah fuck.” before coming face to face with a ‘made in china’ sticker.