Experiment Ten.

I strode into the room wearing the largest triumphant grin I’ve had in a long time. The occasional giddy giggle escaping from my toothy grin every now and then as I sat myself down next to the uncaring Elenoir, still enraptured by the book that sat eloquently upon her lap. I sat there for a long moment, attempting to gain her attention with the occasional scoot closer or obnoxious clearing of the throat.

This was kept up for a long series of minutes, and after a long hour of absolutely no response from her in any way shape or form, I grew impatient, and with a quick glance at the still ignorant little heathen, I repositioned myself even closer, then aptly kicked for off the couch and onto the floor in a heap.

Only now did she lastly take notice of my empowering yet intimidating presence, her green eyes aflame with an undeserved anger, and she slowly crawled to her feet and brushed herself off, checking tentatively over the book for any apparent damage. “And what was that for?” She queried antagonistically towards me.

I jumped to my feet and thrust my hand into the air, index finger aimed high, and with a gleam in my goggles I satiated her question with its rightful answer. “It was for science my dear child! And thusly you have become a part of my next experiment! Where I will test extensively on the outcome of applying six tons metric weight of dark energy upon the retinas of various animals and kindergarteners! Henceforth I will take the results, refine them into small pills that I will then slip into your morning cereal and watch with glee as your face slowly swallows itself whole under the impending doom of gravity!”

My proclamation echoes into oblivion for a long moment, Elenoir simply staring at me with dull eyes and a partially slack jaw. I blink a few times and wonder whether or not I have just scared the young monster to death and her body is still struggling to process the information.  

Unfortunately my theory was proven wrong as she then opens her mouth and responds, “You know I don’t eat breakfast right?” I clench my teeth as my smile immediately vanishes underneath a wave of failure and I punch the air. “God fucking DAMN IT!”

I commenced having a small temper tantrum for a few moments before realizing how stupid I looked and quickly composed myself before my niece and let my arms fall useless to my sides. “Well fuck. Guess I’ll have to go with the cannibal zombie schoolgirls instead.” I sigh and pull a lever out my pocket and flip it.

“Wait what?” Elenoir asks whilst within a bout of her own stupidity. I roll my eyes behind my goggles and step aside to reveal the closet door behind me slowly opening, henceforth allowing the legion of carnivorous cannibal zombie females to come swarming out from inside it’s depths. Elenoir stared at them a moment, then at me, which I obviously took as a question of sorts and I thusly quenched her thirst for knowledge accordingly.

“In case you were wondering, which I know you are by the stupid look of utter incompetence pasted upon that usually smug face of yours, after my last failure I decided to create an army of zombie soldiers. And since I was also trying to figure out what I was going to do with the populace of the local boarding school I had locked in my basement, I decided to turn the males into contemporary flower pots whilst simultaneously debilitating the female populace and converting them into uncontrollable, ravenous monstrosities of what they used to be.”

I glance fondly towards my creations, “The bewildering addition of them all coincidentally being on their monthly cycles only increased their cannibalistic tendencies, making them even more efficient!” I turn back towards my niece. “And now I can just say that you accidentally wandered into my lab as I was conducting experiments and tragically unleashed a swarm of hideous bloodthirsty highschool students.”

To my surprise though, Elenoir no longer stood shocked, as now she stand there with a heinously adorable smirk upon her lips. “Uncontrollable eh?” She chuckles and I nod with a passion. “Of course! The best to tear apart their victims without any preference towards who it is they are slaughtering…. Oh shit.”