Experiment Fourteen.

My lab was deathly quiet except for the strangled sounds of deep concentration. Zooming in upon the cause of the unearthly noise, it would reveal me, hard at work with my chemistry set, Elenoir sitting silently behind me, a look of pure concern upon her face as it was cast down towards her lap. My steady fingers were twisting caps and stirring vials, heating beakers and tapping buttons.

I remained deeply entrenched within these actions for a long while. Seconds stretching into painstaking minutes with Elenoir still silent yet somehow obnoxiously apparent behind me. Sweat beading down my brow as my eyes finally scrolled down the page of test results spewed from the bowels of a machine far too large to simply print such a small amount of paper. And you’d be correct; it’s oversized because it also produces a rather delectable mocha latte. But only on the third Friday of every fifth week and only if that day is an even number on an odd numbered month.

A small scowl slips across thin lips. My eyes growing dark and I took a breath and swung around. “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The bad news is that there is no good news. You’re pregnant.” The last three words barely left my mouth before Elenoir’s eyes swelled up with tears. “I can’t be pregnant… I just can’t.” She sobs gently and I bow my head, carefully walking up beside her, then slapping her on the back with a toothy smile.

“Nope, you are totally prego! Congrats on conceiving another pathetic human worm baby, I hope it grows up, gets a job, then spends its earnings on powerful weapons in which to eviscerate the human race with!” I glance down and see Elenoir shaking incessantly before me. “Umm… Elenoir?” I query nervously, afraid I had broken her and place a comforting hand upon her shoulder.

“I’m… sure it’ll be… fine… and stuff…” the words came alien out of my mouth, leaving a horridly sour taste in its wake, causing me to have to struggle just to not gag. Suddenly my attention was brought back to Elenoir, who for some strange reason, had begun to start growling something I quite couldn’t hear.

“Pardon?” I asked carefully and suddenly I was on the floor, two tiny hands gripping my face, Elenoir’s thumbs placed firmly upon the eyes of my goggles, pushing in and I could hear the glass strain beneath its force.

“Fix me!” She screams, pressing harder. “Remove this thing from inside me or I will shove your eyes out the back of your skull!” Her voice dripped with an uncensored venom, melting deep into the darkest chasms of my mind. “But I can’t! That practice is taboo! TABOO!” I scream back at her, my voice a lot shriller than it should have been.

Her thumbs pressed harder and I watch as an audible crack sends a long line splitting down the middle of my right lens, promising the application of any more pressure to result in incredibly mortal predicament. Quickly I was changing my words, to please her and answer her wishes. “Okay okay okay I’ll get it out of you. Whatever it takes just don’t kill me I haven’t seen The Dark Night Rises yet.”

Slowly I felt the pressure lift from my goggles, ensuring that she was indeed removing them from their previously positions and sparing me from unbearable pain and agony. I take a few deep breaths before lastly breathing out the disclaimer.

“I can make no promises though.” I gasp and before I knew it Elenoir stabbed her thumbs back into my goggles, shattering the glass and sending the shards straight into my eye sockets. Like a thousand needles being simultaneously shoved into my retinas, it was all I could do but scream.